When your kid is a financial train wreck

Financial planners and credit counselors see plenty of examples: The grown son who lost a job, moved home and stopped looking for work. The daughter who constantly mismanaged her checking account — and turned to payday lenders when parents stopped covering her overdrafts. The father working into his 70s to support spendthrift children in their 40s and 50s.
Kristi Sullivan, a certified financial planner in Denver, once worked with an older couple whose offspring constantly turned to them for help.
Set expectations. Many parents who support adult kids have never talked about money with those children, planners say. Parents should be clear about when they will and won’t help.
If the children aren’t trying to be self-sufficient, any help should have an expiration date. If the offspring needs basic budgeting help, credit counselors can offer advice, classes or debt-management plans.
Plan for ‘emergencies.’ Those who are financially irresponsible often limp from crisis to crisis, so parents who set boundaries should expect to get pleas for emergency help. If possible, avoid knee-jerk responses, planners say.
Parents who decide to step in should set and communicate limits, Fernandez said. For example, they can offer to pay one or two months’ rent to stave off an eviction, but tell the offspring to find affordable shelter after that.
Target your help. Very wealthy parents may hand over annual checks as a way to reduce their estates and avoid future estate taxes.
But giving cash to irresponsible adult children is a bad idea. Instead, parents should direct the money toward something specific, such as paying the mechanic for a car repair or taking over certain bills, planners say.
Consider your other kids. Money shouldn’t equal love, but it often does in the siblings’ minds when financial help is doled out unequally, said Laura Scharr-Bykowsky, a certified financial planner.
— NerdWallet via AP