Take note of hallucinations
Funny how the mind works. Well, at least it’s funny how my mind works.
A few years ago, as my vision began to change with age, I started to “see things” that weren’t there.
One day, I was lying on a physical therapist’s table when I noticed that the tiny random holes in the ceiling tiles above me started to look like sheet music.
I saw what appeared to be staffs with notes, chords, almost a symphonic score. But when I concentrated on it, I couldn’t actually make out what the music would sound like.
The notes seemed haphazard, with chords that would be impossible to really play. I shook my head and tried to refocus, but the image refused to go away until I got up off the table.
After that, I began to have similar experiences whenever in a position where I found it difficult to focus clearly — whether from being too far away, as with the ceiling, or too close, as with the enameled tiles on a bathroom wall.
Anyway, I began to get the message: My subconscious mind was eager for more music, wherever it could find it.
As long-time readers know, I returned to my childhood hobby of playing the piano about six years ago. Now, not only do I try to practice at least a little every day, I have also returned to composing piano music, something else I did as a schoolboy.
Three years ago — shortly after those subliminal music messages began — I took a seven-week composing “sabbatical” from my Beacon duties to see if I perhaps had some music inside of me wanting to get out.
As you may recall from my columns at the time, I was also wondering if this could become a new “calling” for me, when (if?) I decide to retire.
I was quite pleased with the results from that break. I wrote three piano pieces that I liked, and set up my own music website (stuartsmelodies.com) so people could hear them and download the sheet music if they wanted to.
Fast forward a couple of years, and once again I was seeing visions of music just about everywhere I looked. I eventually got the message that it was time for another sabbatical.
I have just returned from that one (a shorter one, alas), and am pleased to report that I found this break also to be productive.
While my compositions from the past (including the earlier sabbatical) tended to be improvisational in nature, I have long wondered if I would be able to compose songs that have a catchy tune. You know, something people might actually want to sing in the shower.
I had never tried composing melodies to sing before, but I wanted to see what I could come up with. Well, my showers have never been the same! Nor my bedtimes, walks, or any other time when I’m not actively doing something else. I keep hearing tunes in my head.
Because I feel the world has become a substantially scarier place over the last six months, my new songs aren’t quite as upbeat and catchy as I might have hoped. But they reflect my unspoken feelings about things right now.
I am not a poet, so I wrote my melodies to accompany passages from the Book of Psalms and other liturgy (from the Jewish prayer service) that speak to me forcefully today. Yes, they’re all in Hebrew, too. So, I don’t expect many people to start singing my songs during their showers.
But I have been pleased by the response from good friends with whom I’ve shared some of the melodies.
I would love to be a singer/songwriter, but unfortunately, my voice is not up to the task. Believe me, I tried! But the recordings were bad. Really bad.
I asked a few acquaintances who have good voices if they would help me record some of the songs. No takers. People have busy lives!
So, I looked online: Was there perhaps a service that would help people in my situation? Was there ever!
There must be legions of would-be songwriters like me out there. Numerous websites offer a variety of “singer voices” that can be used to record one’s songs in English, Chinese, Japanese or Spanish.
Male voices, female voices, in pop, rap or romantic styles — even voices that sound like famous singers (and ex-presidents) are readily available.
Unfortunately for me, none of those voices “know” Hebrew. So, I turned to another set of websites I came across in my searches: services that use AI (artificial intelligence) to synthesize singer voices in any language. What a world!
With the help of a very patient and capable friend, I was able to “produce” one of my songs in Hebrew. Its title is “Rachamecha.” If you’d like to hear it, visit this webpage: bit.ly/Rachamecha. You’ll be able to read the song’s translation there, too.
Feel free to post your comments online, or send them to me via the Beacon.
I hope to have more of my songs online in the not-too-distant future. Stay tuned, if you’re so inclined.
And I advise you to stay tuned in to your own hallucinations, as well. You never know where they might take you.