After Laura Stassi’s 29-year marriage ended in divorce, the Northern Virginia author wrote a book about finding love again. She hosts a podcast, “Dating While Gray,” interviewing guests about dating, sex, avoiding scams and more. Stassi will be the “keynote conversation” speaker at the Beacon’s 50+Expo on October 20 in Silver Spring, Maryland. Photo by Jenifer Morris Photography

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When life gave writer Laura Stassi lemons, she didn’t just make lemonade; she hosted a podcast on WAMU, wrote a book, and created three radio specials, one of which will air on NPR stations this fall.  

After her 29-year marriage ended in divorce, Stassi, then in her mid-50s, found herself alone and living in her first-ever apartment in Fairfax, Virginia, wondering how to start over. 

“After the split, I started thinking about where my life was. I wanted to start dating again, but I didn’t know how to do it. The last time I’d been single, telephone answering machines weren’t even invented,” Stassi said in an interview with the Beacon. 

While jogging on a North Carolina beach one day, a phrase popped into her head: “dating while gray.” With that tagline, Stassi started researching how older adults find love again. 

Today, she hosts the podcast she created, “Dating While Gray: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships.” On it, she interviews older adults about their dating lives.  

She retells some of those stories in her 2022 book, Romance Redux: Finding Love in Your Later Years, based on the first two seasons of the podcast as well as her own experience. 

Stassi will be the keynote speaker at the Beacon’s 50+Expo on Sunday, October 20 in Silver Spring, Maryland. Stassi will be interviewed by Beacon publisher Stuart Rosenthal on the stage of the Silver Spring Civic Building at 1:30 p.m. 

Northern Virginia roots 

Stassi grew up in West Springfield, Virginia, and graduated from Virginia Tech with a degree in communication studies. At 22, she married a man she had known since sixth grade and raised two children with him in Richmond.  

Since she had loved writing since she was a child, all the while she wrote, penning several nonfiction books for children (one about Pink Floyd), as well as articles for the Defense Health Agency and even the Beacon.  

Stassi and her husband moved back to Northern Virginia for another decade, but by 2012 he made it clear he wanted a divorce. She said she was “naïve and in denial” that the separation was final, and continued to iron her ex’s shirts and help him look for real estate. 

“Divorce was not something you did unless it was just awful. And I just didn’t realize how awful he thought it was,” she said. “I come from a long line of married people, so you didn’t really think about divorce. You were expected to soldier on in the marriage forever.” 

A new beginning 

From her new apartment, Stassi began her new life as an unattached single woman. 

She decided to do what she knew best: She researched this new world of dating over 50, in hopes of one day writing a book.  

When she asked her Facebook friends how they met people, she began gathering stories, which she posted on a blog she started. Stassi’s blog became fodder for a podcast, thanks to a combination of hard work and good luck.  

One day in the car, she happened to hear on the radio that WAMU — the NPR-affiliated news-talk station at American University — was looking for new podcasts.   

“It was competitive, but they were looking for diversity,” Stassi remembered. “They had alphabetized the list of diversity categories, and ‘age’ was the number-one thing…So I thought, ‘Okay, I’ve got a good idea, and I’m older.’” 

Stassi applied and was one of five people chosen from more than 500 applicants. The producers, she said, were impressed with the range of stories she had collected, including one from a woman who was trying to date while living with her ex-mother-in-law.  

“They said they really appreciated my fresh approach,” Stassi said. 

With a stipend of $2,500 and guidance from WAMU, Stassi bought podcasting equipment and got to work. Her first episode aired in 2020. 

Favorite programs 

Each episode of “Dating While Gray” focuses on several people’s true-life stories, which they recount on the air.  

Sometimes, if the stories are too embarrassing, the interviewee speaks anonymously or even through a voice actor. That was the case with one woman who fell for a scam (that episode was titled “Pants on Fire”).  

Stassi’s breezy, empathetic style makes the podcast seem like you’re overhearing a conversation between friends. Some segments are about trends — such as couples who live apart, couples who find a partner from their past (a phenomenon Stassi calls “boomerang love”), and how grown children may impact a new relationship.  

What was Stassi’s favorite episode of her podcast? That would be the one about “The Golden Bachelor” reality TV show, she said, “because who knew that some people take ‘The Bachelor’ so seriously?” 

Last fall, Stassi co-hosted a “finale watch party” with Slate to view the final episode of the debut season of “The Golden Bachelor.” 

She also created three one-hour broadcast specials with American Public Media. “Older Brains and Bodies in Love” aired in 2021, and “Beyond Reality TV: Inside the Lives of Older Singles” in 2023. 

This fall, “Love Across the Divide” will air on NPR member stations. In it, Stassi interviews couples with different political viewpoints.  

Supporting each other 

After dozens of on-air interviews, Stassi has found solace, inspiration and support with her fellow singles. 

“One thing I’ve learned is we are all in this together,” Stassi said. “There are so many of us out there, over 50, becoming single as we get older.” 

Indeed, the number of older people getting divorced has doubled since 1990. More than one-third of divorces today are among those 50 and older, and 10% of people getting divorced are 65 or older, according to AARP. 

Stassi receives emails and voicemails from listeners all over the world, including England and Israel. Each wants to share their story with others, either as a cautionary tale or hopeful anecdote. 

“Overall, in the ‘Dating While Gray’ community, there’s very much a spirit of camaraderie and helpfulness,” Stassi said. “People want to help each other out.” 

‘Just waiting’

Now, Stassi says often, she’s “grateful for the ‘divorce wings’” she had to develop while learning to fly solo. 

She lives alone in an apartment in Richmond near her grown children and her grandchild. She plays pickleball, reads novels, and travels now and then, mostly to her beach property in Emerald Isle, North Carolina.  

After years of discussing dating, Stassi has a few date-night ideas of her own: tapas at Jaleo or dinner at the Indian restaurant Rasika and a concert at Wolf Trap, the 9:30 Club or the Birchmere.  

“But for a getting-to-know-you-type date,” she said, “I vastly prefer something like a pickleball game, jog or a hike.” 

So far this year, Stassi hasn’t seen any sparks in her personal life.  

“At the moment, I am not on any dating sites. I’m just waiting. I am joining what I can join — and keeping my eyes open.”

Correction: The print version of this story states that Stassi will co-host a “Golden Bachelorette” watch party this fall. In fact, the party was last fall for “The Golden Bachelor.” In addition, Stassi’s first apartment was located in Fairfax, Virginia, not Reston. We regret the errors.