Maryland educator Annette Watford welcomed a student from Tanzania into her home last year. She now considers the student a “bonus daughter.” Retirees and empty nesters say that hosting an exchange student can be a life-changing experience — and gives them a friend abroad they can visit in the future. Photo courtesy of ASSE International

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Empty nesters JC Labowitz and Patti Rounsevell hosted a Turkish exchange student, Duru, in their Alexandria home last year. Photo by AFS-USA

At work one day in 2022, Montgomery County Public School teacher Annette Watford got an email that changed her life.

“Consider hosting a foreign exchange student,” the email read. “Students come from all over the world and are excited to become part of an American family, and you can make that happen.”

Watford, who said that hosting an exchange student “was always in the back of my mind,” decided to do just that. She and her adult daughter opened their home to a high school student from Tanzania who, like Watford, liked to bike and cook.

“It was such a great fit,” said Watford, who recently retired. “She’s just like a bonus daughter. I really didn’t want her to go [home],” she said, and they continue to keep in touch.

Each year, more than 30,000 Americans volunteer to host international exchange students in their homes. Empty nesters and retirees say it’s a worthwhile way to give back.

As the U.S. State Department puts it, “You will be a citizen diplomat by creating positive impressions about America and Americans, breaking stereotypes, and fostering mutual understanding and respect.”

Several programs exist

There are several exchange programs a family can work with, including the organization Watford contacted, ASSE International, founded in 1938. AFS-USA was founded in 1946 and Youth for Understanding in 1951.

Each organization is roughly the same: They match you with an international high school student who speaks English and has health insurance and spending money.

The host family (you) provides a bed (shared rooms are okay), a place to study and three meals a day. The students live in their host’s home from August to June. Host families aren’t paid, but they can claim a tax deduction of $50 per month, according to the IRS.

“It’s an experience unlike any other that helps to unite our world,” said Megan Michels, senior director of growth and development at Youth for Understanding USA, which places 550 international students in American homes each year.

“Especially with the current conflicts going on in the world, there’s never been a better time for hosting an exchange student because you’re promoting peace in an enriching way.”

Many families make such a strong connection that they host students every year. One family, for instance, has hosted 27 students, according to Michels.

“A huge reason why people love to host is because it gives them travel opportunities and friends all over the world,” said Michels, who recently hosted a student from Germany.

“My host student goes home next week, and I’m already planning a trip to Germany next summer — and I’ll be staying with her parents.”

Paying it back

While some people host exchange students for travel potential or companionship, many veteran exchange students see it as a way to give back to the program that hosted them when they were children.

Gena Norquist, a retired teacher in Fairfax, Virginia, said her warm memories as a 16-year-old exchange student in Norway in 1979 inspired her to host several international students through the same company, Youth for Understanding USA.

“My host family took me on their summer vacation, and I got to experience the Land of the Midnight Sun, where the sun never sets,” Norquist recalled.

“We went out fishing at 11:00 at night and got home at 1:00 in the morning…and had a fish fry. Those are the things you’d never experience here.”

Norquist started hosting students when her own children were still living at home, in part to broaden their horizons. Her children still keep in touch with one of her first live-in students, who attended her daughter’s wedding.

The family bonded with their students every evening at the dinner table. “Having someone at mealtimes is huge. Those are some of the best times, when you’re sitting around having dinner together,” Norquist said.

“It’s fun. There’s a lot of humor, too, with language mistakes or cultural mistakes. You quickly learn to laugh at language mix-ups.”

Patti Rounsevell of Alexandria, Virginia, said that hosting a high schooler from Turkey through AFS-USA brought her closer to her spouse.

“Having a third person at the table — we just talked more, and talked about what was going on in the world, so that we could help our student understand things from a U.S. perspective. But we also enjoyed learning about things from a Turkish perspective,” she said.

“We were in a cooking rut. Having a teenager to provide meals for helped me get back into the kitchen and enjoy cooking again. My student and I cooked together, so I learned a lot about delicious Turkish food.”

Like Norquist, D.C. architect Gus Pope wanted to host an exchange student since his own year abroad in 1983, when he lived with a family near Stockholm, Sweden.

“It was one of the best experiences of my life, so [hosting a student] was 100 percent about wanting to pay it back,” Pope said.

A new routine

Some hosts notice an uptick in errands when a student is living in their home.

“It’s like having one more kid,” Pope said. “The exchange programs screen kids, and they’re probably more self-sufficient than most. But they’re still another kid.

“You’ve got to help them, you’ve got to enroll them in school, you’ve got to get them where they need to go.”

The students go to school, of course, and occasionally their exchange program takes them on field trips to, say, New York City. AFS-USA, for instance, organizes many activities so students can meet other Americans.

“As an older host parent, I wasn’t connected to the community of high school parents, so having all this support from AFS made hosting that much easier,” Rounsevell said.

“Our student was a terrific kid, very outgoing and self-motivated, which is a good thing for an older parent, because she wasn’t reliant on us for making friends or social activities.”

Watford didn’t mind the extra effort involved in hosting. Although she would occasionally drive her student to a nearby mosque for services, she taught her to ride the bus to and from school.

Cooking for one more was a breeze, since her student often helped in the kitchen.

“It wasn’t overwhelming. I didn’t feel like it was too much,” Watford said. “I’m an introvert, but I enjoyed every minute of it.”

Watford’s extended family enjoyed including the teenager in Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions as well as trips to Miami, Six Flags and the Maryland State Fair. (Of the Fair outing, Watford said, “She said it was the best day of her life.”)

Although hosts aren’t paid, the connection you make with a person from another country is well worth it, Watford said. “That’s something you can’t put a price on.”

For more information about ASSE International, visit host.asse.com or email info@asse.com. For Youth for Understanding USA, visit yfuusa.org or call 1-800-833-6243. AFS-USA can be reached at hosting@afsusa.org, afsusa.org/host-family or (646) 530-3088.