Five ways to be social from a distance
Social distancing and stay-at-home orders are taking a toll on the human psyche and fueling the loneliness epidemic that has raged for several years.
Let’s face it: It’s isolating to stay inside for long stretches. And when we venture outside, we find others who look like aliens with face masks and gloves, darting away from each other. It’s downright creepy.
Before coronavirus knocked us off our feet, one-fifth of Americans reported feeling lonely. More than one-third of Americans age 45 and older said they felt socially isolated. And 28% of older adults live home alone, more than ever before.
Too much isolation is bad news: Loneliness is as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, being obese, or having high blood pressure or diabetes. It can trigger inflammation, arthritis, Alzheimer’s and premature death. It also hampers the immune system, which is especially tough on older adults, who are more vulnerable to the virus.
How can we bust isolation?
1. Rekindle old friendships. Go on the internet or pick up your phone to track down people from your past. Close friends help us cope with the ups and downs of life — and these times are definitely a downer.
2. Create virtual double dates. Connect with another couple on your tablet or computer. But don’t make small talk. Talk about real concerns.
Getting together with others over a glass of wine or cup of tea triggers new ideas, prompts great discussions and brings everyone closer.
3. Choose meaningful connections. Connect with friends who soothe and support you. Steer clear of toxic relationships or people who vex or annoy you.
Aristotle divides friendship into two types: those of “utility” and those of “pleasure” — which both fade away. But the friendship “of the good,” the one that exists for its own sake, sticks with you.
4. Connect with community. Watch concerts, plays or church services on your computer, tablet or smartphone. It’s the next best thing to being there.
5. Chat up strangers. Did you ever share secrets with your airplane seatmate? We frequently confide in people we barely know, seeking “cognitive empathy” with others who have similar experiences.
These days, we’re all in the same boat. When you’re outside, interact with others nearby. Just stay more than six feet away!
Remember, physical distance isn’t the same as social distance. People who move through tough times and trauma emerge with “post-traumatic growth,” feeling more resilient and having a better sense of what really matters. They learn to appreciate life more and sense subtler vibrations.
This is a stressful time. But with the right approach, it can be transformational.
Judy Holland, judyhollandauthor.com, has been published in the Washington Post, Boston Globe, Houston Chronicle, San Francisco Examiner and Washingtonian magazine. Her most recent book, HappiNest: Finding Fulfillment After Your Kids Leave Home, is available on Amazon.