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There is a lot to love about the holidays, but when you’re in the 50-and-over club, you may be cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, traveling, volunteering or playing family psychologist and referee.

By embracing patience and kindness, you can remove a lot of stress from the season. If you want to make the holidays a bit merrier, try rethinking how you view stress, suggested psychologist Michael Rollock of the Medical College of Georgia.

“In the spirit of the holiday season, let’s give stress a fair shake by learning a bit more about it and how we can tame it or make it work for us,” Rollock said in an email.

Stress is simply our body’s response to anything that requires attention or action. In the face of a challenge, we experience feelings of physical, emotional or psychological strain, from rapid breathing to constricted blood vessels, Rollock said.

A recent poll by the American Psychological Association found that we are experiencing significant stress about inflation, violence, crime, the current political climate and the racial climate.

“When we then add in the holiday-specific sources of stress — including entertaining, shopping, travel, finding gifts, money, parties, baking, family or the absence of these things — it is clear that we need some stress busters in our stockings this year,” Rollock said.

Calming breathing exercise

Some powerful evidence-based practices include the “relaxation response,” which slows your heart rate, relaxes your muscles, calms your mind, and helps you to make more values-based decisions instead of being driven by your stress.

Rollock recommends diaphragmatic breathing, or “belly breathing.” Sit or lay down in a comfortable place and close your eyes.

“Place one hand on your chest and one hand on your abdomen. The bottom hand should do the moving. The top hand should remain still or only move as the bottom hand moves,” Rollock said.

“Inhale through your nose for about four seconds, feeling your abdomen expand. You may feel slight tension the first few times you inhale.”

Hold your breath for two seconds and then exhale very slowly and steadily through your mouth for about six seconds. Repeat for 5-15 minutes as often as possible.

“Regular practice can actually retrain your nervous system and brain so that you become more resilient and calmer in the face of holiday stress,” Rollock said.

Reframe unhelpful thoughts

How we think about something can affect how we feel. Even if something is objectively stressful, challenging your negative thoughts can help keep your stress from spiraling out of control.

The first step in reframing is to identify the negative thoughts. Then, interrupt and challenge those thoughts. Finally, come up with a more realistic or positive alternative.

Be compassionate — to yourself

This holiday season there will be moments when we fail to live up to our own expectations or just fail at a task. We may feel inadequate when comparing ourselves to others who appear to be doing better.

“We can be our own harshest critic, especially during the holidays,” Rollock said.

Research suggests that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience a person has, radically improving their mental and physical wellbeing.

“Give yourself the same kindness and care you would give to a good friend,” Rollock said.

Exercise relieves stress

Exercise releases endorphins, which are stress-relieving biochemicals that improve your mood. It also reduces stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.

“Regular physical activity during the holidays is one of the best things you can do for stress management,” Rollock said.

“Also, if the activity you choose is one you truly enjoy and if you do it with someone you like, this will increase your motivation to keep a regular exercise routine.”

When necessary, say no

Mental health experts say it is okay to decline an invitation if you are reaching the limits of your time, stamina and emotional availability.

In addition, family dynamics can be complicated and fraught. If you do attend a gathering, don’t start an argument.

“Be willing to put these conflicts on hold. The discussion can take place at a later date,” said Dr. Elizabeth Ochoa, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, New York.

Christa Coleman, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at Penn State College of Medicine, said during the holidays many of us take on more responsibilities and can become overwhelmed if we don’t set healthy limits. After all, some people might be stressed around the holidays by being around certain people or missing loved ones.

“Many of us have strong memories and emotions around special occasions. Don’t ignore your feelings. It’s important to acknowledge these situations and events.

“This can be done by having a special moment to remember a loved one who has passed, passing on a tradition, or even starting a new tradition,” Coleman said.

John Schieszer is an award-winning journalist and radio and podcast broadcaster of The Medical Minute. He can be reached at medicalminutes@gmail.com.