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I spent an entire year of my life downsizing my big house. That yearlong journey was one of the most challenging, most revealing and most rewarding years of my life.

During the process of decluttering and downsizing my home, I discovered the real me that was hiding underneath all of that beautiful stuff.

To say it was easy would be a lie. I was confronted daily with one more drawer or cabinet that was crammed with things I didn’t even recall buying: One more useless gadget I thought would make life easier. One more closet filled with clothes that no longer fit or that I hadn’t worn in years.

I was embarrassed, ashamed and guilty about the excess and overspending. At the end of a day’s effort, I was physically exhausted and emotionally drained.

Downsizing is a rollercoaster of emotions: The thrill and excitement of a vision for a new lifestyle, versus the unsettling and confusing decision fatigue. The dream and promise of a simpler life with less, versus the daily struggle and exhaustion of letting go of years of excess accumulation.

Call in the troops

At first, I tried to tackle this downsizing project on my own, thinking I could chip away at this overwhelming task day-by-day in my spare time.

After a month into my solo attempt to be superwoman, I picked up the phone to call my family and friends to say “Help!”

Those calls generated one of my first big discoveries: I didn’t have to do this alone. I realized the importance of having a team for such a big undertaking.

I decided to create a team and schedule one or two of them to meet with me for four hours on a Saturday or Sunday so I would garner the physical and emotional support required to downsize my life.

Ultimately, I gave away 95% of what I owned to people who needed or wanted it.

Confronted by clothes, memories

It was a dreary winter day. Perfect for attacking the first of my many closets, filled with beautiful dresses and suits, many of which had not been worn in years. Some still had tags on them.

Touching each piece of clothing, I was filled with emotions ranging from guilt to shame to disgust. Weekend after weekend, I would fill my lonely days shopping, perhaps in search of “the perfect little black dress” for the someday perfect date. Then I counted four little black dresses that looked just like the others.

I struggled to let go of the clothing that reminded me of special times in my life, not wanting to let go of the memories. But why? They were just clothes — and way too many of them.

A change in perspective

As I stood there in the middle of the large walk-in closet surrounded on three sides by things I mostly no longer needed or wanted, I began to envision women who would be thrilled to have even one of these beautiful suits or dresses.

First, I removed all the clothes I hadn’t worn in at least a year. Next, I tried on those that I wanted to keep. If they didn’t fit me when I tried them on, I put them in the “donate” pile.

The clothes that remained hanging were still too many, but I realized I could do a second and perhaps a third edit on another day.

Next, I folded the “donate” clothes into neat piles and then put them into boxes. I immediately loaded the boxes into my car so I wouldn’t have second thoughts.

I pulled out of my driveway to drive to my favorite women’s shelter, which welcomed donations of professional clothing for job interviews.

I rang the bell to the shelter. Within minutes, I was warmly greeted by three women who helped me unload all the boxes from my car. I wasn’t expecting their assistance, but it was definitely appreciated.

That day, one of the women I met at the shelter said that she could hardly wait to get a good job so that she could get a nice apartment for herself and her children.

I felt a warm glow knowing I was doing the right thing. This was just one woman of many who would benefit from the clothes that had been hanging uselessly in my closet.

Driving home, I was overcome with gratitude. I realized that there was so much more that I could do and must do. By letting go of my excess stuff, I was gaining so much more in return.

As I walked into my home, I suddenly felt lighter. I also realized I didn’t always have to be strong, and I didn’t have to do everything by myself.

There were people in my life who cared for me and told me they were willing to help. I was finally willing to accept their assistance.

Rita Wilkins is the author of Downsize Your Life, Upgrade Your Lifestyle, from which this essay was adapted. Watch her TEDx talk, “Downsize Your Life: Why Less Is More” at bitly.com/ritawilkins. Visit her website designservicesltd.com.